Dear Severus
by Wrath Flamesoul
Summary: So many questions, so many "what-ifs" about that night. But "what-ifs" only serve to torment idle minds... don't they, Severus? Very dark, set around the Goblet of Fire. Rated for literary images.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Severus Snape, Lily Potter, James Potter, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, The Dark Lord Whose Name Shall Not Be Spaketh, Dumbledor, Hogwarts, the Malfoys, or anyone else in the _Harry Potter _universe. I do, however, own Lucius Malfoy's wand, as I stole it the last time I tie-dyed his hair. Also, few of these characters are actually mentioned in the oneshot. XD

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><p><strong>Dear Severus…<strong>

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><p>You let her slip through your fingers, Severus. You let her get away.<p>

Don't try to deny it, dear Severus. You were the one who called her a mudblood. You were the one who made your disgust for muggle-born witches and wizards evident. Let's face it; you put her off with your own ignorance — your own _temper_. You can blame James all you want, but what did he do but fall in love with the girl?

Well, that, and torment you left and right, of course.

Was it the bullying, Severus? Was it the constant, often reasonless abuse you suffered at their hands that finally made you snap? Was it the constant taunts of "Snivellus" that pushed you to insult the one person who helped you, that time James hung you up for all the others to see? You could have won your little war with James then, Severus. You know that, don't you? She stood up for you; how much would you like to bet that just twisted a nice, big, rusty knife in James's gut? He might have lost some steam if you'd thanked Lily and been on your way, but it was just too much, wasn't it? Poor Snivellus…

At least she was pretty, wasn't she? At least she got a nice, happy family — at least for a while. So many questions, so many "what-ifs" about that night. What if you had switched sides sooner, Severus? What if you hadn't reported the prophecy to the Dark Lord? What if he had shown the mercy you hoped for? But "what-ifs" only serve to torment idle minds… don't they, Severus?

And now… Now her brat of a son lives when she could have. He just looks so much like his _father_, doesn't he, Severus? All but those eyes… those eyes that are the perfect replicas of Lily's eyes. It would be so easy to hate him, if it weren't for his eyes and the sacrifice she made for him. But as he is, there's just too much of her in that boy to allow you to truly _hate _him, isn't there, dear Severus?

Oh, but he acts so much like James, too, doesn't he? He prances around, sticking his nose into business better left alone just the way his father did. The poor boy doesn't realize how his father abused you during your Hogwarts years — doesn't realize his father wasn't the perfect idol he believes him to be. He will learn, Severus. All comforting delusions must come to an end in time. He will learn.

And where does that lead you, Severus? A double-agent who faces Azkaban or the Killing Curse if one or the other side suspects treason too strongly. A poor, sad little man who's already lost the only woman he will ever love. A bitter harpy who torments small children with too much homework, death glares, and snide offhand comments unless they belong to Slytherin.

You can try to forget all you want, Severus. You can try to atone until your very last breath, but you know as well as I do how futile that is. How long, Severus? How long until the weight of what you've done begins to break your mind?

I eagerly await the final outcome of your crimes… my dear Severus.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Yeah, it's pretty short considering my usual style, but this is my first Severus fic. I always imagined Snape had sort of an AM voice for his conscience (if you aren't aware, AM is the evil supercomputer in "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" short storyvideogame): bitter, taunting, and with an annoying tendency to run very smoothly and gently over the names. If you want an audio clip of what I'm talking about, go to YouTube and watch the beginning of the I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.  
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**Anyway, this is one of several of the "vent fics" that I wrote over my… crap, **_**ten month **_**leave of absence. Sorry guys. Anyway, this was spurred by a certain not-my-friend-anymore who thought it would be funny to set me up with the guy she's cheating on her boyfriend with… and not tell me who the guy was to her. So, yeah, I've got two or three more of these hanging around the place.**

**Ja-ne!**


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